THIS GIRL
You might not agree with everything I have done, or tried out, or
what I write about.
But, it's my journey & that is the very reason why it interesting.
WOW, I can't believe I've been writing my blog successfully now for over a year. I can't believe I wrote that (above) back when I was completely mentally out of it. I find what I wrote above may be one of the very most important things I have ever written, and I wanted to re-post that. I also thought this piece of writing is critical to people that just started reading and wanted to get my perspective.
First of all, a word of caution:
My blog might not be written perfectly, actually I guarantee that it will have mistakes. Sometimes my medication clouds up my thinking, therefore I might confuse you. So, please let me know of any major errors.
My intentions are to create a personal blog that have a range of feelings that you can relate to. You might feel happy, hopeful, curious, sad, educated, excited, perplexed, challenged, and maybe you'll find something that you can share with others and believe in.
I don't want my blog to be a "woe is me" type of journal. I am not a victim, I am a warrior and I'm fighting this war. I hope that you will join in and support me in any way you can, and first you can start by simply reading my blog and sharing it with others.
People always ask how they can help in other ways. The best thing you can do for me is to pray for strength, healing, and protection. Other simple ways are random phone calls, donations, a visit to my place, maybe a snow cone lol, or a little note that lifts my spirit, sharing your story with me, sharing my story with others who are in the same place that I may be able to help them...and the list could go on and on. This section on giving isn't really about how you can only give to me, it's about how you can give to anyone going through something difficult, and like my mom always says, "Try and Enlighten Two Hearts Today".
FASHION
Cool story... in April I was asked to be a part of this secret project I knew nothing about by my friend Larissa Ness, who I sometimes style and do costume design for. She is an amazing musician and if you haven't heard of her yet, I'm sure you will hear her soon, because she just started performing in a new band called THE MRS.
Larissa texted me like the night before she wanted me to come meet her at the mall, which is not normally like her. When it comes to getting something together for styling, she normally has a very comprehensive picture in her head, and knows what she wants from head to toe. So she was being very vague, very unlike her, so I wasn't really sure what I was coming to help her with. In the end she was the one helping me.
Larissa and her Band The Mrs. put together the theory to the test to see how women feel about themselves in the mirror! And they made a song and a music video called "I'm enough." I actually found this in my dance studio yesterday
2
2
(which I have been working out to get my strength up for my next surgery... point being, is this epidemic is happening everywhere in Austin, from April until August and I'm sure beyond).
I thought I was going to style Larissa Ness for a film, but instead I was the one being filmed! This tricky/genius experiment put together by The Mrs. (A Fabulous All Girl's Austin Rock Band) Larissa, & Bravo's Flipping Out Star, Jenni Pulos. Jenni, was the Fairy God Mother & voice that tricked me into talking directly to her through an "automated mirror." It's really cool to see her talk to me behind the scenes, in fact I couldn't see her at all (even though we were only a few feet away). It's interesting to see each of the band members, and Jenni's reactions to what I said! I'm featured about 3:20 minutes into this video. This was filmed less than 2 months after my jaw surgery (February '14). Watch the whole thing b/c it's awesome... I literally cried when I saw it! Love you Larissa Ness! Thank you for thinking of me & making me a part of this amazing project. Things like this change the world!
Continue to spread your good word through your amazing musical talents & huge heart. Larissa You Literally Rock! You are an inspiration to me, and many many more! Let's keep spreading the good word!!!
Continue to spread your good word through your amazing musical talents & huge heart. Larissa You Literally Rock! You are an inspiration to me, and many many more! Let's keep spreading the good word!!!
Ladies let this be a challenge to you! Learn to look in the mirror, love yourself for who you are, and what you do, what you stand for, not by what you think you look like on that given day. Easier said than done, but we can do this!!!
PAIN:
Well the big news came in. Looks like I'm having my (hopefully) end all be all cure to CSO surgery on August 27, 2014 with Dr. Marx in Miami. The anxiety is setting in. The CT orders, blood tests, pain management appointments, and all those fun things are being scheduled.
The big question on my mind is to use a cadaver bone or not. Pro's to using it: less pain, less surgery, less time to heal. Con's: it might not set right with my bone, thus it might mean I have to use my own "auto" bone anyway. I want to do this the right way. I will write more on this as I am making the right decision for myself. I do appreciate everyone's support and input and I know that it comes with controversy, but if everything were plain and simple I guess life wouldn't really be that interesting. Point being, I will make this decision on my own. I just have to find the right answer for me personally.
Finally after going to specialists in Austin, I was sent to the Mayo Clinic, who got me close to the answer but couldn't find the root cause. I actually got C-diff both times I was there. After that, I finally met an angel who had the same disease and she told me about the world famous Dr. Marx, in Miami, FL. Thank God he diagnosed my disease correctly and has done 2 more surgeries on me since July 2013. This next one should be my last big surgery (bone graft, which will require my mouth to be wired shut for a few weeks) and everything should hopefully come to pass.
The little things can be done here in Austin, which makes life much easier. I have friends, family, and a roof over my head. There is not another doctor in Texas as qualified for such an intense surgery, not even at the Mayo clinic. So if you have CSO, go see Dr. Marx as he is the person you'll eventually end up seeing anyways, even if he is the one correcting you [I hope there is another doctor out there though, b/c Dr. Marx has minions that follow him around and I have about 5 people in the room with me at a time. I even had a colleague of his tell me (in San Antonio), if you were my wife or daughter, I would not operate on you. I would send you to Marx]. Dr. Marx you are the man!
No comments:
Post a Comment