Today is like most. Unfortunately, I am not feeling well. I have tried everything I think I can possibly to feel better. I am finally giving in. I appreciate that I am going to be to have surgery with a world renowned doctor that has written 8 books. I have been going back and forth should I have surgery with Dr. Marx's? Can my amazing maxillofacial surgeon Dr. Quaroni not do this here in Austin? Should I have it done at MD Anderson in Houston? Should I go back to the Mayo Clinic for the 3rd time? I have finally allowed myself to understand that going to Miami for 2 weeks and replacing my jaw is the right answer. All the other doctors that do this surgery copy the surgery from Dr. Marx who discovered it. I will have Dr. Quaroni do my 3rd part of this surgery in Austin though, he is amazing. He deals with osteomyelitis just not CSO. He can do the implants when I get through the 2 hard parts in Miami. My mind is going crazy, but I am glad I really do not have a choice to think about it anymore. I need to just accept the fact that it is happening and I am going to be different. I hope that if this surgery changes me it will only be in a good way. In a way that I inspire others, show that I have an abundance of faith, and that I am more compassionate. I am ready to move on. This disease has taken my life and I am ready to take it back. It has torn up my emotional life, taken my passions away from me, take my hair and skin, and I am done. I am ready to say goodbye to all the medication, pain, and ugliness from this chapter of my life.
FASHION:
CSO and the medications that come with it have taken over my hair, nails, and skin. I was actually diagnosed with about 3 skin problems but I have them under control. I started using olive oil face soap for my face, and I apply a lavender healing oil mixture from Jerusalem to the part of my chin that is infected on the outside. I use baby oil to keep my skin nice, fresh, and moist. I have been taken 1,500 mg of Biotin. This has helped my eyelashes grow in less than 4 weeks. My hair and nails are also reaping benefits from this vitamin. Adrian from Milk and Honey said that I should try it and it totally helped. She also cut my bangs short because I am getting all this new growth of hair and it hides all the weird spots. My hair stylist and colorist Ricky Hodge suggested that we do not color my hair. He said that we should wait until I am better. So the challenge I am having is that I have dirty blonde hair where the new growth is and the old growth is almost bleach blonde from when Ricky last touched it. So I kind of have an ombre look. I have a picture attached of what an ombre looks like. I think he was right when he said to wait for us to highlight it because it would make it weaker. Ricky might make a video about cutting my husbands hair though. My husband Brian is growing his hair out for locks for love and it is so awesome. It is long, thick, and curly. I am lucky to know some of the best people in the beauty and fashion business because of my background! Check out www.rickyhodge.com and www.milkandhoney.com
This is a picture of me and my mom when my hair and skin were nice and healthy (right before I started getting really sick). Oh and yes we are both wearing dresses that I designed : )
Here is Mary Kate Olsen I chose her because some people say I look like her so you can get the best idea. Although in the picture above, I do not look like her at all. Maybe over the 4th of July I will take some pictures of me and I will share them. Basically you can see in the picture above my hair in is all evenly colored from scalp to end. My hair now looks like Mary Kate's darker up top by the scalp and brighter blonde at the end.
PAIN:
All I want to say about pain today is.
Pain.
Pain.
Go Away.
Come Again Another Day.
If I Hollar STAY AWAY!!!
I like you am rocking the ombre look. My hair is falling out and fragile as is so I plan on celebrating when this is all over with a hair dye and jumping completely in the pool. I look forward to the first shower, being able to yawn without pain, eating croutons again and all of the little things this disease robs you of. Having a PICC line can be a blessing and a curse at the same time. I guess we just have to keep fighting and know the end of the road is getting closer and hopefully this really is the end for the both of us.
ReplyDeleteKimber,
ReplyDeleteHow are you feeling? Are you cured? My hair finally started growing back I have been taking a vitamin called Biotin, and I have been using shampoo and conditioner that is made to keep your hair from breaking. I hope everything is well! XOXO